When Your Dreams Go Up in Flames

My shop is next door to Fresh Choice Plus, the restaurant Downtown lost to fire Sunday afternoon (6/8/08) . Within minutes of the fire department being called a neighbor rousted my husband and I out of our Sunday afternoon reverie with the news. We live nearby so it took us no time at all to get Downtown.

In the few minutes it took to get to the scene I wondered how I would react.

Cloud of thick, black smoke billowed out of Fresh Choice. The firemen were concentrating on putting out the fire and making sure the rest of the block didn't go up in flames. My immediate thoughts were grim. "I'm out of business," I said to no one in particular. I was heartsick. It wasn't the financial loss that made me sick. My dream was in jeopardy of going up in flames, literally. My dream.

I love what I do. I love working with people to preserve their memories and decorate their spaces. Many of my clients become friends. I love to encourage new artists. I love the fact that when I was a tot, my mom owned a frame shop. She was an artist. I loved the thought of following in her footsteps.

As I sat, waiting for events to unfold, I mulled over different scenarios. If my shop burned, would I reinvest the insurance money and reopen in this economy? If I didn't, what kind of "straight job" would I get? What boss would tolerate my independent, but highly competent, self? I would deeply miss the friends I have made along South Kentucky Avenue. I'd be adrift.

As the fear subsided, my optimistic self took over. Well, if the shop burned I would be able to rebuild and make those changes in the business plan and floor plan that I'd developed over the last three years. I could make it better. Maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world after all. It would just be The Dream-Part II.

Soloman and Said showed up. I will never forget the look on their faces. I recognized it. It was the look one gets when they are watching their dream go up in flames. Although I know their minds were dizzy with grief and fear, I hoped subliminally they heard me when I said, "Think of this as a clean slate. You can make all those little changes you've thought of since the doors opened on your dream."

I imagine that's what my grandmother had in mind when she always told me to try, try again.